Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Types of Love

Depending on the source, there are 3, 4, 6, or 9 types of love. But my list first:

1. Requited love: mutual, romantic, sexual, committed, secure. This is probably the best.
2. Unrequited love: one-sided, possibly sexual, non-secure. This one breaks hearts. But on the positive side, you loved, and something good most always comes out of that.
3. Enough to not tell my/your significant other love: because monogamy is unrealistic (I have heard of people who have done it though). Healthy, caring, non-committed.
4. Transference love (not therapists): because you remind me of the person I would rather be with. Can still be happy, healthy, and committed.
5. Associative love: using a person to get closer to another or make someone jealous.
6. Pet love: that just sounds wrong.
7. Math love: ∫, ∏,µ, √, ф, ɛ, Ω, ∆, ℮
8. Fantasy love: expressed towards an imaginary person, celebrity, or someone you don’t really know but think you do.
9. Self love: VERY important. Seriously. Confidence and self-esteem are two very positively powerful forces for setting and achieving goals.
10. Instinctual love: when there’s no reason you can find for loving a particular person.
11. Google love: because the interweb will give you the answers to the questions the person you are searching won’t.
12. Thrill love: passionate, risk-taking, addictive. Not necessarily directed towards a person, e.g. skydiving.
13. Obligatory love: usually applied to family members. Pretending to love a person which therefore indicates care, but deep feelings are absent.
14. Desperate love: derived from loneliness and/or aging. May or may not develop into requited love.
15. Abusive love: When a person says they love you but is physically or psychologically abusive.
16. Summer Glau love: see #11. Also leads to hours of addictively viewing really bad Fox programming (just Fox, not Joss Whedon). *** see footnote.
17. Sandwich love: see the Qwantz comic. I call it Ice Cream love. May also apply to other foods, significant material objects, and immaterial sensory stimuli.

The 3 types of love are:
1. Eros love is based on passion, sexual attraction and desire.
2. Philia is an interested, affectionate, strong liking with an emotional connection.
3. Agape love has its roots in Christianity and is a spiritual (not sexual), gentle, selfless love towards all.

The 4 types of love are:
1. Security love: nurturing and caring; ideally, this love is the type parents have for their children.
2. Friendship love: this is the same as Philia love.
3. Romantic love: similar to Eros love; butterflies-in-your-stomach-love-at-first-sight love.
4. Unconditional love: this is a sort of romantic-agape love, unconditional.

The 6 types of love are:
1. Eros
2. Ludus: an uncommitted love, conquest driven love which may include lying.
3. Storge: a friendship love similar to Philia which may include dispassionate sex.
4. Pragma: a pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship where sex may be viewed as a technical requirement.
5. Mania: an obsessive, jealous love.
6. Agape

The 9 types of love are:
1. Affection: non-sexual but touching and kissing may occur; caring and secure.
2. Sexual: sex and sex related feelings; short-term.
3. Platonic: non-sexual, contented, trusting; like affection but without the kissing.
4. Romantic: rose petals and sunset walks on the beach love.
5. Puppy: youthful, innocent, short-term, infatuation.
6. Friendship: not sure how this is different from platonic love.
7. Committed: respectful, long-term, sexual.
8. Passionate: lust, sex, euphoria.
9. Infatuation: obsessive, blinded.

*** typical conversation while watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

“I don’t understand why they would do that. They obviously changed the story mid-shoot. There not even wearing the same clothes. Am I seriously supposed to believe that these time travelling robot killers haven’t figured out that they shouldn’t use cel phones for communicating sensitive information?”
“Just watch the show.”
“But I have all my disbelief suspended, and this still doesn’t make any sense. How does a story even get this bad? And you know it’s not the writers, it’s just Fox ruining what would otherwise be a kick-ass show.”
“Do you wanna watch another episode?”
“Yeah. Of course.”


  1. I take issue with your #4. There is no way that love can be healthy if it's not genuine. In this case you are not genuinely in love the person, you are in love with someone similar to them. If you can find trates about the person that are uniquely theirs then you can genuinely love them. But then, it's no longer transference is it?

    Also, you forgot #18: Robot love. as in "Billy, don't you want to play baseball with you friends?"
    "No dad, I'd rather make out with my Monroe-bot."

  2. Great post! I've never thought there are so many kinds of love!